Dying in Carl’s arms would include:

Requested

image

• Him just staring bewildered and not wanting to believe his eyes at you before beginning to slowly and painfully realize what’s happening

• Him beginning to tear up and tremble as he begins to tell you that you’re going to make it, all while having to see how you grow weaker with every second

• Him feeling how the panic in his body rises as he keeps telling you that you’ll be fine only for his voice beginning to crack and for quiet sobs to leave his lips repeatedly because he deep down knows but doesn’t want to accept that he is completely helpless

• As he then hears your quiet and painfully weak voice trying to tell him that you love him, him pulling you closer and holding you tighter as he tells you that he loves you too before his tears cut him off

• Him trying to stay strong for you but losing against the panic to lose you, especially as he first sees how your eyes begin to flutter and he breathlessly begs you to stay with him

• Him having to whimper even more as he sees how you look at him for the very last time before beginning to close your eyes and the whimpers of his turn into panicking sobs

• Him calling out for you to come back to him, to open your eyes and look again at him before the uncontrollable sobs and the panic make him grow out of breath until he just stares whimpering at you

• Him rocking you hardly trembling in his arms as he holds you tightly against his chest, his head leaning against yours, while still not wanting to realize that he has just lost you 

• Him feeling how his chest cramps and the enormous pain rises even more as he first backs away and sees your completely lifeless face

• Him slowly realizing that he has to take his knife and do it even though he repeatedly tries to desperately push the thought away but knows that it has to be him and no one else

• Him telling you still crying that he’s sorry for not being able to protect you and that he loves you before kissing your forehead and eventually taking his knife into his trembling hand

• Him failing to do it the first couple of times through all the pain and grief that’s filling his body before he closes his eyes and quietly and breathlessly sobbing and does it

• The knife sliding immediately after it out of his hands, as he directly pulls you against him and cups your face before burying his face whimpering and sobbing into the curve of your neck

• While he’s holding you, all the memories he has of you rush over and over again through his mind, as well as the thought that he knows that he needs to keep fighting, especially because you’d want him to even though it seems impossible to him right now and all he can think of at the moment is that he doesn’t know how to go on and live without you


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