prompt: “I could use a hug.”
“Come on, tell big ol’ Negan where the fuckin’ shoe pinches”, Negan drawled, propping his elbows onto the wooden surface of the kitchen table to get a little closer to you and allow his hazel eyes to lock with yours.
But instead of keeping them locked you glanced back down to poke some more in your lunch while he you heard him letting out a small but deep sigh.
“It’s just a bit much right now…everything”, you mumbled, clenching your jaw uncomfortably as you tried to pack your feelings and thoughts into words without revealing too much yet.
“What? The shifts? Sweetheart, I already told you I can take some more off of you”, he said, his voice turning a little softer, even concerned as exhaled tightly and looked up at him, shaking your head slightly.
“That was great with that one shift, and I’m really thankful for that but I can’t do this on a regular basis…when I get a special treatment each and every time I’ll stir something up and I don’t want that. I don’t wanna lose the other’s respect or even become some kinda underdog because of that”, you mumbled, spinning your fork uneasily between your fingers as if it would be the answer to each and every of your problems.
“They wouldn’t fucking disrespect you, not if I-”, Negan began, stern and with protectiveness swinging through his voice before you stopped him right there.
“Negan”, you said, glancing up and capturing his eyes at you cut him off, knowing too well that his intervening would make it all just worse.
Another deep sigh fell from his lips as he clenched his jaw and puckered his brows slightly, pondering before his eyes met yours again.
“Alright…I get that. but either way, I got the damn feeling you’re not telling me everything that’s buzzing through your pretty head”, he said, his glance intensifying as soon as it had your eyes on lock, refusing to let them go.
You shifted uneasily over your chair, attempting to use your food once more to distract yourself from the situation while you exactly knew that he was right and even more, that he wouldn’t stop until he had pushed all concerns out of sight.
So yes, there was something more but you couldn’t tell him, hell, you’d make a fool out of yourself and turn this all into a huge embarrassment, maybe even change things between the both of you.
You were growing closer, but not that close yet to ask for something you had immediately thought of the moment he had asked.
It was simple, yet complicated as hell.
And this thing was nothing else than a hug.
A simple but proper hug.
You couldn’t remember the last time you had one, it had probably been years and each time you thought of this long time a quote you had heard some time before the world went to shit ghosted through your head:
“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”
According to that, you’d be stone dead.
You damned yourself often enough for even thinking about it, in a world such as the one you were forced to live in, hugs weren’t or shouldn’t really be within the top priorities on the list.
Either way, you couldn’t deny that you were in deep need for one, especially with the stress you found yourself stuck in.
You just craved to feel safe and all comfortable for once in this whole mess and the person who could give you this was right in front of you, but you’d do hell to ask him.
Fuck no, you weren’t gonna do that, no matter how much something in you wanted to let your guards down for once in his strong arms.
“So what is it?”, Negan asked, urging a little more while curiosity and worry mixed in his words as he reached over to you, taking the fork out of your fingers and laying it down next to the bowl, stealing your distraction and forcing you to finally look consistently into his concerned eyes, “I’m serious, Sweetheart.”
A tight exhale fell from his lips as you stayed reluctant, not knowing what to do now.
You couldn’t lie, Negan would be able to tell within the matter of milliseconds.
“Listen if you don’t wanna talk, I’ll respect this shit. Just got the feeling you’re holding something back that really wants to get the fuck out”, he said, keeping your eyes locked as a shudder ran down your back, making your mind work flat out.
“Like I said…it’s just a lot and I just-”, you stopped, finding yourself struggling horribly, “I could-”
You sighed, letting your glance wander through the room, trying to find some hold on the beige paint on the walls or the wooden shelfs before your eyes fell back on Negan’s, knowing that you couldn’t get out of this anymore.
“I…don’t laugh at me or something…I just- in this here…I could use a hug”, you mumbled, your voice becoming quieter with each word until your glance fell embarrassed to the wooden table plate.
“You’re kidding me? Why the hell should I laugh at you for that”, he said with a soft chuckle, letting your heart that had already dropped by the first few words rise up again.
Suddenly, the creaking of a pushed back chair sounded over the wooden floor boards, guiding your glance back up and letting it fall on Negan, who rounded the small table until he stood shortly in front of you.
“Alright, Baby. If you want, well damn, I’m right here”, he chuckled, letting your lips gap open in surprise as you glanced up at him and looked into his brightly shining eyes and the pearly whites he flashed with his wide but softer turning grin.
“You don’t have to-”
“Well, what if I fucking want to, Sweetheart”, he chuckled, opening his arms a little while his eyes roamed over your face.
“I’m not only the damn king of fucking, I give great ass hugs too – even though I gotta say I got a little damn rusty in this, haven’t done this in a long ass while too…anyway, now you wanna get in here or nah?”, Negan’s deep voice drawled, sending pleasant and excited but at the same time nervous shivers through your body before you found your body taking over your mind as you stood up and felt Negan’s hands reaching out to your waist, spreading goosebumps all over your body as soon as you felt his touch.
Seconds later his strong arms wrapped around you as yours slung around his torso, letting him pull you flush against his firm chest before his warmth and musky scent surrounded you.
The soft leather pressed blissfully against your skin as you leaned your face first cautiously against his shoulder, before feeling yourself growing a little more confident as you felt him pulling you closer, allowing yourself to slowly nuzzle your nose into the warm skin of his neck.
A deep hum rumbled through his chest and up his throat, letting it vibrate softly against your body as he leaned his head against yours while your emotions seemed to dance wildly within you, as if they got finally released after an ice age of frozen still stand.
You could feel yourself loosening more up with each second, melting into his tall frame as if he was the perfect fit for yours while the excited and nervous emotions slowly ebbed down and allowed the comfortable, safe and peaceful ones to show their faces.
A whole different kind of warmth began to spread out in you, began to stream through your veins and flow into each and every of your cells as he cradled you against his chest, with each time his warm breath brushed over your skin and with the way he had his arms wrapped around you just as if they built a wall of safety that allowed you to finally let your guards down.
A content and freeing breath fell from your lips as you found yourself stuck in a beautiful trance, not fully realizing yet that you were hugging the big bad wolf of the sanctuary.
You could feel one of his hands beginning to caress your back, moving just a tiny bit up and down, brushing his rough fingertips over fabric of your shirt while he slowly let his head drop down to your shoulder, holding you even closer than before.
The suspense you had felt prior was flowing out of your body with each second you spent in his embrace, with each bit he cradled and caressed you, showing a side of him you hadn’t fully seen and discovered yet, a side he maybe had forgotten about all these years as well.
Slowly, you drifted more and more into the beautiful and peaceful trance, losing yourself more in him while you could feel his body melting closer against yours, as if the very same thing was happening to him as well.
Feeling how your lips curled into a content smile against his skin your mind made one last act before letting your emotions fully take over, whispering softly that the big, strong and though man who was holding you so tightly in these moments certainly needed this hug and your closeness just as much as you needed his.
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