Summary: The reader is placed in front of a hard decision as she gets her hands by pure chance on the keys to Negan’s cell.
This is one of the drabbles for the time jump between season 8 and 9! It’s linked to my series, so If you like you can find itrighthere, but you can also easily read it independently from it.
The metal door crashed with a dull thud into its lock, echoing through the cell and the outer room you found yourself standing in next to Negan’s guard.
He sat, as always, on the other side of the metal bars on his bed when you were let out of the cell, his eyes still wandering over you, revealing how much he was already waiting for the evening when you’d come back.
His guard began to fumble on his waistband, trying to slip the keys back to the other bunch on the ring attached to his leather belt as his walkie began to suddenly beep, the shrill tone bouncing off the cold walls and letting it echo through the rooms while an annoyed huff left his lips.
“Yeah?”, Roger grumbled, picking the walkie hastily up while his feet were shuffling restless over the cement ground, listening to the stressed voice of the man on the other side of the line.
“Gotta go, you find yourself out”, he finally said as he pushed the walkie back and glanced for a short moment at you, giving you a small nod before he began to rush up.
His heavy footsteps echoed over the ground and up the staircase, that strong that it felt like the floor beneath you would vibrate softly in response before the door upstairs crashed back into its frame.
As soon as the sound hushed you glanced back through the bars, catching Negan grinning softly at you as he ran his palm over his thicker growing salt and pepper beard.
“See you tonight”, you mumbled, giving him a small smile as you saw him lifting himself back up from the bed and beginning to stroll closer to the door until only the metal bars parted you.
“Yeah, see you, tonight, Baby. Now get up or I can’t guarantee for fucking anything. Might rip those fuckers here apart and get you back inside”, he playfully chuckled, teasingly raising his brows as you gave him a small laugh back, even though you could see something flickering beneath the playfulness in his eyes.
The distress of the loneliness the countable hours of the day would bring, the pain of being locked up and only seeing the same four walls each and every day, every hour, every minute, every second.
For a moment he reached through the bars, his large hand squeezing yours reassuringly before you gave him another small smile as soon as his warmth left yours again.
“Till later”, you mumbled, seeing how he gave you a small nod as you knew you had to go now if you didn’t want to make it all harder for each of you.
With a small sigh you finally made your way up the stairs, hearing quietly in the background how Negan made his way over to the bed as suddenly something sticking out from the dull cement stairs caught your eye.
It was small and glimpsed in the faint light and at first you didn’t recognize it, until the moment you leaned down, squinting your eyes slightly with puckered brows and caught what as laying right by your feet.
Two small silver keys, that laid there by your soles.
Two small silver keys Roger had tried to fumble apparently unsuccessfully onto his key ring earlier.
Two small silver keys that belonged to Negan’s cell.
Your breath seemed to stop for a moment, your heart seemed to skip a beat as you stared at the metallic figures on the ground and felt how your lips began to part in bewilderment.
Your finger began to grasp them almost unconsciously, as if you were stuck in a trance until the cold metal touched your fingertips and got eventually wrapped up in your palm.
Your mind seemed empty and filled up with thousands of thoughts at the same time, leaving you split and torn as a shivering breath left your lips and your eyes darted back down the stairs.
What were you supposed to do now?
You couldn’t lie, this scenario had spooked here and there already through your head but now that it turned into reality, you felt completely muddled.
There were those two sides again, the two sides you had already been stuck between in the war.
Negan on the one side.
Your old friends on the other.
Your mind was spilling over with thoughts and emotions, with the feeling of not being able to betray the people outside that began to finally accept you again but even more, with the urge to finally see Negan free again, to finally see him completely blithe again.
And for a moment this seemed more important than anything else.
But still, you couldn’t form a single straight thought as your foot met the cement step down to the cell again, your lips shivering as you got down, step by step until you saw the metal bars again.
“Negan”, only left your lips breathily, your hand still clasping the keys as you saw him looking irritated at you, surprised about your sudden return.
Puckering his brows he ran a hand over his thick beard stubble as he lifted himself off the bed, tapping over the floor as his deep voice echoed through the room.
“Somethin’ wrong?”, he mumbled worriedly, his eyes wandering over you, trying to read the answer off your face as you gulped heavily and glanced up at him.
“Roger he-”, you mumbled, too startled to bring your sentence to an end before you slowly opened your hand, “He lost the keys.”
Negan’s eyes widened as he came closer, squinting them as if the keys in your hand were a mirage that could vanish into thin air in the matter of seconds.
His glance wandered up, catching the look in your eyes that wandered repeatedly to the lock of his door and seemed to reveal just enough for his face to fall into a flat frown and his brows to pucker harder.
“No. (Y/N), no. You won’t fucking do that”, he nearly growled, letting your glance snap up to him as confusion and pain spread over your face.
“Negan, I-”, you began, gulping harshly as a shivering breath fell from your lips, “I see you suffering in there, I-”
“Doesn’t matter”, he cut you off, his voice intentionally sharp as if he wanted to cut those thoughts out of your head, “You won’t fucking do that.”
“Why?”, your voice was shivering, a little weaker than you intended to as he already shook his head and stepped even closer to the metal bars.
“’Cause I won’t let you put yourself at that much fucking risk for me, not gonna happen”, he scoffed, his eyes darting at yours, trying to keep them locked with his, “You’re just about to be on a better fucking path with them and that shit took you way more time and fucking work than you deserve. I won’t let you ruin that because of my ass.”
You glimpsed at him before your head sunk a little as a thick gulp wandered down your throat while your eyes captured the keys in your hand once more.
“But what kinda girlfriend am I if I never try to get you out of there?”
“The kinda awesome one that comes every fucking night here to stay by my damn side….and the one who’s not thinking clear right now”, with that your eyes wandered back up to him, puzzled by his response as he sighed and ran his palm over the silver struck thick beard.
“First, this is not your responsibility, not in any damn way. You’ve done more for me than I could ever fucking ask for…second, if this would happen”, he gestured at the keys with a swift motion, “What do you think would follow, huh? A damn flight, with a damn hunt that’d be opened on us? No fucking sir, I won’t put you in that kinda position. I won’t let you…and third…as I said and no fucking matter how much I wanna screw some of those fuckers outside over…You’re finally on your way to get what you had before my ass came along, I won’t be the one to ruin that.”
“Alright?”, he added, pushing the thoughts that had been running through your head already further to the surface, revealing the real problem.
You couldn’t have both, Negan released and the people outside respecting and trusting you again, at least yet.
“Listen, I’ll get out of this shit thing here some day. Earlier or later, they’re gonna fucking need me or some other shit’s gonna happen, but this here, this won’t be the way to go”, he said, still seeing the inner turmoil painted all over your face, “And I fucking know that this wouldn’t be the damn way you want it to happen too.”
You glanced up at him, sighing quietly and trying to let the tension leave your body while the keys seemed to burn into your palm, begging to be recognized.
But he was right, with each of his arguments, no matter how much you wanted to see him outside this cell, this wasn’t how you wanted it to happen.
You wanted peace with the people outside when it happened, not all of them, few had gone too far but at least with the ones who had begun to let you in again.
“So lemme tell you what’s gonna happen now. You’ll swing your sweet ass up there, give Roger the prick those damn keys back and get yourself the damn respect of them you fucking deserve”, he finally said, his hazel eyes capturing yours, keeping them locked to make sure you understood each and every word of his.
“I’ll be fine”, he said, as he reached through the bars and grasped your free hand, squeezing it lightly before he let out a small loosening chuckle ,”Baby, I’ll be fuckin’ fine.”
“Okay”, you finally mumbled, deeply exhaling as you stared at the keys once more time as his hand left yours and your eyes met his once more, reassuring you that you were doing the right thing.
And you were keeping this glance in his eyes in mind as you eventually made your way up the cement stairs, through the unfinished house and finally to his guard.
Summary: As some music streams from the outside into the cell, Negan decides to use this rare possibility for a small dance with his girl.
This is one of the drabbles for the time jump between season 8 and 9! It’s linked to my series, so If you like you can find itrighthere, but you can also easily read it independently from it.
Warm evening sunbeams shone through the cell’s windows and danced over the cement ground, filling the prison with orange rays of light while the smooth sound of music was beginning to sound through the glass behind the thick metal bars. It wasn’t loud enough to understand each and every word as it had to come from someone trying to make their work shortly before the houses more entertaining, but it was still enough to hear its soft and pleasant melody and enough to let Negan jump out of the prison bed to stand right in front of you, with his large hand stretched out to you and a wide grin dancing over lips. “Come here, we gotta use this”, he mumbled, his deep voice mixing warmly with the sound of the music while excitement about the sudden and rare entertainment spread over his handsome features, “I’m gonna make it one hell of a fuckin’ fun. I promise, Baby.” A chuckle was rumbling through his broad chest, letting it shake softly beneath the steel blue prison suit as he perked his dark brows up and grinned wider as soon as you slid your hand into his. Quickly, his warm hand enclosed yours, large enough let it almost vanish in his before he lifted you with ease from the cheap bed until your bodies were parted only by inches. Slowly, he lead you closer to the window, increasing the volume of the music just a little bit until he turned around to you and sneaked his arm around your waist. Glancing up at him you caught his hazel eyes wandering over your face, lit up softly by the warm evening sun as it drew bright lines around his face, his black hair and the salt and pepper beard. “There we go”, his deep drawl rumbled as he pulled you closer, keeping you right there with him until you could feel his warm body pressing against yours. Slowly, you slid your hand up his chest, reaching his shoulder within moments where it came to a rest as he raised his hand that was still engulfing yours, forming the position he wanted to have the both of you in. “Some surprise entertainment delivered to my damn doorstep…Gotta be a lucky day, huh”, Negan quietly chuckled, leaning in to peck your lips before you laughed quietly against his and gave him a small nod. “Definitely”, you mumbled, caressing your fingertips over his shoulder as you were feeling his warmth through the fabric of the suit tingling against your fingers. ”Now if that fucker is longer here we could later on fuck to the damn rhythm of that music”, Negan snickered, perking his brows suggestively up as a wolfish smirk spread over his lips as you chuckled quietly. ”Then lets hope he’s got some more work to do”, you laughed, feeling how Negan’s hand was squeezing you teasingly before he pulled you even closer against his tall figure.
A small hum left your lips as you eventually leaned in and could feel his head beginning to rest against yours, his thicker growing beard tickling you softly as you began to dip in closer until your nose could nuzzle into the warmth of his neck. His scent slowly engulfed you as he gradually began to swing the both of you softly from side to side, only centimeters at a time in the rhythm to the slow music. You could hear Negan’s deep voice humming along the melody while his chest was rising and falling softly beneath the prison suit against yours while his warm breath was brushing over your skin, creating small goose bumps of comfort all over your body. Negan’s thumb stroked slowly over the back of your hand as he held it in his large, warm one, while his lips pressed a kiss to your skin with a deep purr that was able to let a pleasant shudder wash through your body before his head leaned slowly back against yours. A content sigh left your lips as you huddled closer, taking in his warmth while the sound of the music set you slowly into a small trance, able to let you forget the cell Negan was held in for a small while as only his touches, the soft swinging and the deep rumble of his humming voice managed to let you melt completely against him.
“Don’t fall asleep here on me, still gotta hear how fuckin awesome your sweet moans gonna mix with that music”, Negan chuckled playfully after a while of just keeping you close and swinging you softly from side to side, eliciting a small laugh to fall from your lips as you teasingly dug your fingertips into his shoulder but remained buried in the crook of his neck. “I won’t, promise”, you mumbled against his warm skin, feeling it vibrating softly against you as soon as a chuckle rumbled through his throat as he cradled you a little closer against his firm chest. Humming you melted closer, drifting further off into your little trance. There was a small part of you imagining the both of you dancing just like this outside the cell and in a house with a cozy living room, with a white shirt and some gray sweatpants clinging to Negan’s body instead of the steel blue prison suit and with some fire crackling softly in a chimney instead of cold metal brushing against metal whenever a soft gust brushed against the door. But as much as this small part in you wished for you to have those things someday, as much knew the whole rest of you that this moment right now within his embrace was just perfect as it was in its very own way.
Summary: While the Reader has to deal with the annoying sides of being a woman, Negan tries his best to take care of his girl and her pain in his cell.
This is one of the drabbles for the time jump between season 8 and 9! It’s linked to my series, so If you like you can find itrighthere, but you can also easily read it independently from it.
“Right here?”, Negan asked as you felt him shifting over the softly squeaking mattress, letting his large hand caress over your lower stomach that felt like an elephant was sitting on your belly, pressing in on it while thousands of knives where diving and wrenching into your hurting flesh. “Yeah”, you mumbled, cuddling more into his side, feeling his arm wrapping tighter around your body as his thumb slowly stroke over your skin. “Fuck this”, you grumbled, feeling another cramp spreading out over your lower stomach, letting you squirm beneath the thin blanket of the prison’s bed while Negan let out a small sigh. “Ah shit, that fucker in there throwing a fit again?”, he asked, letting you sink a little more into his side as you slowly nodded, feeling the pressure pushing more into your already hurting body. “Hell, if I could, I’d get ya some hot bag or some damn chocolate”, he mumbled, pressing a kiss against your temple while a bit of disappointment was swinging in his voice. “I know, but your hand’s doing a pretty great job too”, you chuckled softly, reaching out to caress your fingertips over the back of his hand for a moment. “That’s what it always does, right?”, Negan chuckled throatily, tightening his embrace a little around you while his warm hand soothed your pain a bit and calmed the storm within your body’s middle. “Yeah, it sure does”, you mumbled with a small laugh, leaning your face into the warmth of his neck, breathing contently and deeply in and out as soon as his scent and warmth began to lull you a little more into their comfortableness before another cramp made you flinch slightly. “Fuck…that bad?”, Negan mumbled concerned, circling his fingers gently over your skin as if it would magically let the pain vanish. “Yeah…shit, I already took one tablet at the infirmary…hoped it would kick in faster…fucking hate this crap”, you grumbled, huffing as you shifted a little, as if it would loosen the tension that was building up in your lower stomach. “Well then maybe I gotta put a baby in there next time so you can skip over this shit”, Negan chuckled, trying to make you laugh and distract you while thumping his pointing finger softly onto your skin as you let out a small chuckle and cuddled closer into his embrace and the fabric of his prison suit. “Yeah so I can deal with the millionth times worse pain nine months later”, you joked, feeling how Negan leaned his head against yours and caressed your stomach a little more with the rough tips of his fingers and the warmth of his palm. “Anyway….for now I just need you to keep your hand there and cuddle me some more”, you mumbled, feeling how he tucked you a little more in while a small chuckle let his chest vibrate as you shifted a bit to nuzzle your face into it, craving the warmth that was radiating through the steel blue fabric. “Aye, aye, Captain…as you fucking wish”, Negan chuckled, pressing another kiss on your forehead, letting his warm lips caress over your skin while his thick beard stubble scratched softly against it. “If you need somethin’ else, need the seamann to sail the red sea or just give you some nice ass back rub…just let me know”, Negan mumbled against your skin as he softly laughed and held you a little closer as you let out a small chuckle. “I will, but this is perfect right now”, you mumbled, humming as you felt his warm hand caressing once more over your stomach. “Alright, then just let me keep ya warm and cozy and then, hopefully, this fucker will calm their ass down”, Negan mumbled against your skin as he pulled you a little closer into his embrace, motivating you to nuzzle your face deeper into his warm chest until you closed your eyes and just let him hold you in his strong arms.
The sun was already standing high on the sky as its warm sun rays streamed into the room and made the sleep slowly loose its grasp on you. Your body still felt strained from the events at the Hilltop of the past day as you began to let your eyes flutter open and tried to suppress yesterday’s memories and to instead give the new day a chance to make it better. Slowly, you shifted closer against Negan’s warm body, feeling how he began to stir as a few small dozy growls rumbled through his chest and let it vibrate against your body. “Morning”, you drowsily mumbled just as you heard the quiet rattling of the cuffs that were boasting around his wrists since the last day and which got you right back to reality. ”Morning, Baby”, he mumbled just before a deep cough rumbled through his injured throat and cut him off just as you could feel his body tensing in pain against yours. You lifted your head out of the curve of Negan’s neck, glancing worried at him just as another cough let him grimace and flinch slightly up. “Fuck this”, he coughed out, clenching his jaw tightly as you let out an uneasy breath. “Shit, the wound really did get worse, huh?”, you mumbled, glancing at the white bandage that boasted around his neck as you remembered last night’s pain he had just shoved off and told you he was fine. “Nah, I ju-… fuck”, he began again, trying to do so again as another cough thwarted his plans and made him squirm as soon as the pain reached his neck and made you sit straight up, knowing that he wouldn’t make you stay this time. “I’ll go get Siddiq.”
Just a short while later you found yourself standing next to Negan’s bed again, hearing Siddiq’s uneasy sighs as he looked over the wound that was just as bad as you had feared it to be. Negan’s face twitched in pain anytime Siddiq’s tried to carefully clean the swollen cut that looked almost as dangerous as it had shortly after the events on the battlefield while his cuffed hands balled tightly into fists as he tried to keep the pain filled grunts in that would else cause even more pain. ”This isn’t working this way”, you heard Siddiq grumble as he cautiously tried to shift Negan’s head slightly up, trying to get him into a better angle for him to take care of his injury while he glanced stressed at the cuffs that made it harder for him to move his patient’s body. ”I’m right back”, he said after another few moments of unsuccessful tries before he gave you a quick nod and rushed over to another room just to come back a minute later, carrying a small silver key in his hands. A tiny bit of relief tried to sneak its way into the tension Negan’s pain had brought into your body as you hoped that the cuffs would at least leave his body for now. You shot a questioning glance over to Siddiq just as he let out a deep sigh, shrugged sightly and looked over at you. “I understand Rick but they don’t help me with his treatment…they’re constantly in the way when I’ll try to take care of the wound on his hand and now with this one as well”, he mumbled, nodding towards Negan’s neck before he shook his head slightly ,”Also don’t need to put a patient under more unnecessary stress, prisoner or not.” You just quietly nodded before you heard the small clinking of the unlocking cuffs, even though your relief about their absence was shrouded with the gloom of Negan’s hurting wound.
“Don’t know how this could have happened”, you heard Siddiq say with a scoff a bit later as you stood in the one of the other room of the infirmary, helping him sorting out the things he needed for Negan’s further treatment. Within a second a cold shudder ran over your back as your mind brought you suddenly back to yesterday’s morning and with that to the realization that you had been the last one to take care of his neck wound before it got infected. “I changed the bandage the last time”, you pressed gulping out, feeling the pressure and tension rising within you as Siddiq’s glance shot up before he quickly shook his head. “No, that’s not your fault. After you left I had to take it off of him again, just for another check up”, he added, already letting a small burden fall from your shoulders even though a certain tension was still poisoning your body,”Already used a stronger salve yesterday because it didn’t quite looked like it should after this amount of time.” Siddiq gulped heavily before he let out another sigh and looked back into the drawer to some salves and tablets just before he shook his head once again and rose his tensed but calm voice. “I didn’t want to directly take heavy measures since I didn’t want to pump him full of meds right again and stress his body more than it already is.” “And now?”, you asked, letting a small, tight breath fall from your lips as your glance wandered up until it caught Siddiq’s eyes. “We’ll have to switch to those meds, I don’t want to take any more chances when it comes to these wounds.”
“And now?”, you heard Negan say the very same words you had asked Siddiq before, forcing a small grin onto his lips as you got back into the room and sat down next to him. “Siddiq’s gonna give you some stronger meds”, you said with a small sigh as your glance wandered over the thick, white bandage. “Feels like I gotta treat that wound for the damn cuffs”, Negan grumbled, twitching slightly in pain as his voice rumbled a little too loud and heavy through his injured throat. “(Y/N), you’ll come over for a moment?”, Siddiq’s voice let your glance dart to the door where the doctor stood, leaning against the doorframe. Nodding you stood quickly up and followed him back into the main room of the infirmary.
With a small sigh he nodded to meds that were placed on one of the wooden counters, before his glance wandered back to you. “I’ve used them before on other patients, they’re pretty strong, but they’ll help the wound heal and numb the pain”, he said, running his hand through his dark hair before already beginning to grab them as he walked closer towards you. “He’s gonna be like dazzled for the first little while after they set in…after that they could make him jump from a bright high into an utter depth…just so you won’t be surprised”, he mumbled while you already knew by the sound of his voice in connection with these words that this what was about to come wouldn’t be easy for anyone of you. “I’ve seen all kinds of people grin in the one moment like a ceshire cat and in the other they were weeping from this stuff”, he sighed, looking down to the medicine in his hands ,”Strong curative powers sometimes demand strong side effects” “But if we got a bit luck he’s gonna sleep through the most of it”, he quickly added as he noticed your tensed and a little warily glance. “I’ll give them to him and then I’ll be outside for a bit, do you trust yourself to stay alone with him?” he asked, leaning himself against the wooden counters while he nodded over to his ready bag that stood the corner of the room before you gulped slightly. “I guess I can”, you said, letting your glance wander up at him even though there was still a little doubt swinging in you ,”I really don’t wanna keep you from your tasks.” “You don’t, this here’s my task too. Either way, if there’s something serious I don’t want you to hesitate. You’ll find me at the walls near the gate, okay?” he asked, making sure to capture your glance as if he wanted to assure that you were alright with anything that was waiting for you before you gave him a nod. “Okay, thanks.”
For the first while after Siddiq had given Negan the meds, things went as predicted, as soon as they seemed to set in, Negan began to get more drowsy than usual until he couldn’t fight the sleep anymore and let it drag him into its depths. For an hour and a half, maybe a bit more or less it stayed this way, he slept deeply, only grumbled here and there a bit in his sleep and had the same small and quiet growls rumbling through his chest like they always did in his sleep.
“(Y/N)?…Baby?”, you then suddenly heard Negan drowsily mumble as you stood by the window before his voice made you turn around and look with a small smile at him. “You’re awake”, you mumbled, strolling back over to the side of his bed as you could already see him grinning widely at you. “Hell yes, I am”, he grumbled with a smirk, the enthusiasm in his voice implying that he was right now at the high Siddiq had told you about but even though you knew that this could end faster than you liked, right now you were just glad that he was feeling as well as he could in his situation. “Feel like I could shoot cumloads like a fucking machine gun”, he mumbled with an even wider grin and as loud as his wound allowed him to just as his eyes widened slightly as he rose his voice again and tried to lift himself a little up,”And rip some dead assholes a new one in passing” “I’m sure you can but you gotta keep laying”, you quietly chuckled, as you placed your hand softly on his chest to guide him back against the mattress. “Alright”, he mumbled before the grin got back on his lips as his roguish glance captured yours, “You’ll come here?” “Yeah”, you said already seeing him trying to raise his arm a little to let you slip next to him. Carefully, you laid your head into the curve of his neck, trying to not come too close to his swollen wound beneath the bandage as you cuddled up to him and let out a content hum as soon as his warmth was beginning to take you in. “You know what I also feel like doing?”, you heard him ask with a wolfish undertone as he tried to slip his arm closer around you. “Tell m-” “Fucking”, it blustered throatily chuckling out of him, almost snickering before you could even end your sentence and realized that the meds hadn’t only boosted his happiness, they had done the very same thing with his horniness as well. “Y’know what you could do?”, you heard him ask in the next moment before you let out a little, chuckling sigh. “Well, I got a good guess but go on.” “That was a fucking great decision”, he chuckled enthusiastically before you could feel him pulling you with the strength he had left closer against his body. And as he then started to raise his voice, you already knew from the countless of dirty jokes he had told you since you knew him, how detailed and filled with his colorful language whatever was waiting for you would be.
“You know….you could suck with those great lips of yours on my fucking dick, swirl your tongue around that juicy fucking head…let me slip my cock deep down till I blow my cum into ya and turn your throat into a fucking ski slope”, he chuckled, the grin clearly audible as a small chuckle fell from your lips in response to the enthusiasm in his voice that was even drowning the purrs out that were rumbling through his chest just before he raised his voice again. “Or hell, you could ride my dick like you’re in the fucking Kentucky Derby…shit, that would be one hell of a fuck”, he chuckled happily as you buried your head a little deeper in his shirt as his meds infused dirty talk that was stuck with extreme enthusiasm was rather beginning to serve as an entertainment instead of a turn on.
“Ahh and your fuckin’ moans when you cum for me…fucking love them”, he snickered as he leaned his head against yours and pressed a quick kiss on your skin. “You know what I love just as fucking much as that?”, he grumbled against your skin while his voice began to turn a little softer. “What?”, you asked mumbling, already expecting yet another enthusiastic and dirty thought of his. “That shit you just did”, he mumbled, a smile forming against your skin before you lifted your head a little out of the curve of his neck and perked your brows in confusion up just as you saw his glance turning softer, even though the wide grin was still plastered over his lips. “That little sigh-…hum thingy you always do when you cuddle up to me…that’s fuckin great”, he mumbled, the grin turning more into a smile as you felt a just as wide smile beginning to grow on your lips, while a small, surprised breath left your lips. “What?”, Negan mumbled, still with the wide mix of a grin and smile on his lips as he cocked an eyebrow at you and laughed quietly, ”Too fucking cheesy for you?” “No, not at all”, you mumbled back, a small chuckle falling from your lips as your hand slid over his chest and ran up to his shoulder ,”Just a little surprised you noticed that – but in a great way.” “Well then-”, Negan began just before a cough rumbled roughly through his chest and up his throat while his face twitched in pain. “Ah shit”, Negan cursed as you looked worriedly at him while the aftershocks of the cough still let him shift uncomfortably. “I’ll get you some water”, you said as you already stood up but felt how Negan reached up as fast as he could to wrap his hand around your wrist. “No, stay”, he grumbled the grin still on his lips. “I’m right back”, you chuckled as you slipped your hand out of his grasp and made your way around the bed, already on you way towards the door as you turned around again ,”Just gotta take care that you and your throat are doing fine.” “Aww”, Negan exhaled theatrically before he chuckled and glanced just as enthusiastic as wolfish at you, before his tongue ran slowly over his lip while he glanced down to his crotch. ”You’re gonna take care of him too?”, Negan asked grinning, letting his hips jerk slightly up before he glanced back at you. “If you behave, maybe”, you chuckled and shook your head slightly about him before you gestured towards his neck,”And favor your throat a little, we can talk all day when its fine again.”
You were still softly chuckling when you made your way into the kitchen and began to get Negan a glass with water, already expecting him to bombard you with a bunch more dirty remarks but instead of that, you found him slumbering like a little baby. And it stayed this way for a while, which actually gave you a little relief and made you hope that his rest would give his throat the opportunity to let the swelling and its cause ebb away again. All until he woke up again, with the difference to the last time that he wasn’t the overly happy and extremely horny man from before anymore but instead usually quiet and here and there a little dazed by the sleep that was overcoming him just for a minute or two from time to time. And even though his silence and his dizziness made you worry a little you were glad that he at least wasn’t sinking into a low. Yet.
Shifting slightly on the chair next to the bed you adjusted your legs a bit that were still hooked casually over Negan’s while your hands were busy with sorting meds and salves into the box that rested on your lap. Negan’s fingers were slightly fumbling on some loose threads of your pants until you could feel I’m beginning to stop while his body slightly shuddered beneath you. Your glance wandered quickly up to him, catching him gulping heavily while he stared at the ceiling with clouded eyes as another shiver ran through his body as he uneasily breathed out. And there it was, the low you had feared.
“Hey…Negan, what’s wrong?”, you mumbled worriedly, swinging your legs from his and placing the box on the nightstand before you moved from your chair onto the mattress right next to him. A tremble shook slightly through his body as he gulped, turning his head a little towards you but still not daring to look you in the eyes. “I let her rot”, Negan chocked quietly but painfully out, and without hearing anything further you knew who he was talking about, just like you knew that this would become harder than you had expected. “I was a goddamn weak asshole”, he grumbled, scoffing as his clouded eyes met yours for a moment before they trailed off. “Negan, what-”, you began trying to find a way through to him before his eyes that began to fill with more tears glanced back at you. “I let someone else put her down…some fucking kid and then I fuckin’ ran…I”, he started, his breath becoming heavier as his jaw clenched in distress, “I just left her there.” A shivering breath left your lips as your hand placed softly on his chest, your thumb beginning to stroke soothingly over the fabric of his shirt while you grew inwardly restless, hoping that you would be able to calm him down. “I just left her to rot on that hospital floor”, Negan chocked quietly out, as he let out another tight breath while his lip quivered slightly as he tried to glance away from you. “Negan, hey”,you mumbled softly, trying to get his attention back at you to have a chance to soothe him,”You were probably in shock you-” “In shock for weeks?”, he asked, perking his brows up before they puckered as a lone tear was beginning to drop from the corner of his eye down his rough cheek. “I was in that area for fucking weeks and…”, he gulped, stopping for a moment as another pain filled shiver ran through him,”I didn’t get my ass to go back there and-” Stopping again you glanced at him, concerned and aching in the pain the sight of him in this distressed state brought into you. “And give her the fuckin’ burial she deserved…something I fucking owed her”, he said, his voice becoming louder before it broke off at the end of the sentence and more tears began to force their way towards release. “I’m a piece of shit”, he scoffed, not at all in self-pity but entirely in utter disgust towards himself while exactly this disgust made a painful twinge shoot through your body. “No you’re not”, you mumbled, trying to keep yourself calm even though you could feel your body tensing harshly ,”Don’t talk that way about yourself.” Negan sniffled slightly just before a scoff fell from his lips as his teared up eyes darted right back at you. “Why the fuck not? That’s nothing but the goddamn truth.”
And with those sentence that shot another sting through your body, you realized again that you had to help him through these deep rooted fears and regrets the meds had let rise with an unbearable force and without any filter to the surface. You found yourself beginning to grasp out anything you already knew about his past, especially the things he had told you in one specific night in which the regrets had almost eaten him up as well. And with that, also the things he had done well, the things that had made you actually grow unconsciously closer to him as they had shown you that besides his mistakes, he had realized and learned from them and had tried his best to make them up. He had stood right by the side of his wife till the very end, had helped her through her entire sickness and hadn’t left her side until she had stopped breathing no matter who had tried to force him to leave, all while the world outside the hospital had fallen apart. And right there was the next thing you laced into your tries to soothe him. The mix of grief and the unknown of an destroyed world. Let alone grief let people do things they didn’t even want to do, let them make decisions that weren’t right, if there even was a right or wrong in those situations. And this was exactly the thing that had made him run away. You had seen that happen to a lot people, good people who would have almost fallen apart through grief and who had acted out in this painful distress. Even you were certain that if you wouldn’t have had anybody with you when you went through the loss of your family, you would have turned into something you didn’t even want to imagine, especially at the beginning of a world that was ruled by the dead. And that was the point, Negan had been hurting and grieving, had been completely alone with no one to be by his side in the worst time, and all that while he had to try to survive in a world he didn’t even know, with walking corpses around every corner that wanted to tear the flesh off his bones. Running away hadn’t been the right thing to do, and you knew where his regrets were coming from, but you also knew that those mistakes were not born through spite or malice but simply through pure grief and pain. After all, they were humane.
So you found yourself laying on your side next to him in the bed, his still trembling arm slung around you while you were propped on your elbow to have a look at him while one of your hand ran still softly over his chest. “Ya know what?”, you heard Negan mumble as his still clouded eyes captured yours ,”I’ve already had one chance and I fucked it up…” “You…”, he muttered, trailing off before he seemed to rally himself as his glance stayed fixed on your worried one ,”You’re my second chance…you’re my second chance to be happy with someone and I’m already on my way to fucking destroy it too.” “You’re not on your way to destroy it, Negan”, you said back as soon as his voice had hushed, not only to calm him down but also because you saw this as the utter truth. Negan quietly gulped as his glance wandered over your face before you huddled a little closer up to him. Moving your hand slowly up you smoothed his dark hair back, watching him close his clouded eyes for a small moment as he leaned into your soothing touch . “I’m lucky to have you, you know that?”, you quietly mumbled, as you let a small, uplifting smile grow on your lips. And just as you began to grasp some hope, another shivering breath fell from Negan’s lips before he clenched his jaw tightly. “Why the fuck should you be lucky to have me?”, he asked, his brows puckering tightly as this question made it feel like something broke in you. If the meds hadn’t fully captured him, if he hadn’t been this stuck in his fears and regrets there would have still been the part of him joking around and making a dirty comment, but instead of that his eyes were fixed on you, completely serious and filled with genuine sorrow and distress. “I bring you nothing but pain and stress”, he growled out, the anguish mixing with the same disgust you had heard before and right now as by the way he was looking at you you could tell that he meant every single word he had just said “That’s not true, not at all”, you mumbled, feeling how a lump began to slowly grow in your throat as the way he was seeing himself began to turn into a painful torture for you too. Tensely and worried you looked at him, with your fingers still caressing softly through his hair as you realized that just saying that this wasn’t the truth wouldn’t do it.
“Alright…buckle up because this about to get sappy”, you mumbled with a soft chuckle as you tried to loose the situation a little up while you huddled closer against him. Taking a deep breath you looked at him, gulping slightly as you hoped that you would be able to calm him down and knew that lifting the lid to your feelings and putting them into words wasn’t by far as easy as it might seem to one. But then, as you saw Negan growing unsteady and restless again, the words just began to flow out. The simple fact that you had your insecurities too, had some moments in which you asked yourself why he wanted you or what he saw in you. But whenever those damn thoughts tried to sneak up, he was right there, making you feel like you were truly the most desired woman. He made you feel great, no matter if he did it with his very own way, with some of his very special remarks or just some glances and the way he acted around you. He made you feel comfortable, that much that you had learned to cry again in front of someone without any shame, without feeling like you had to hide it to not seem weak. You could simply let your guards down when you were with him which meant in this kind of world even more than it had already before. And no matter if he realized it or not, this big bad wolf who could be at the very same time the biggest goofball with a dirty mind and a very own sense of humor that managed to make you laugh till your stomach hurt, had developed to be your crutch and calm anchor as much as you were it for him.
”Wasn’t glad for no reason to just be able to lay down next to you after all the stuff that happened yesterday”, you mumbled with a small, uplifting smile as you glanced at Negan who had begun to calm down and whose eyes had stayed like glued on you since you had begun to talk and which had stayed this way no matter how often you had trailed off to find the right words. “I’m lucky to have you. Believe me that”, you added, letting your fingertips caress through his dark hair just the way you knew he liked it,”Alright?” For another short moment Negan stayed quiet, his glance wandering off of you for seconds before he began to nod as he glanced back at you, “Alright.” Finally, the corners of his lips curled slightly up and even though it was just this small and you knew that the meds still had a strong grasp on him, you were glad for the moment. “And now we’ll sleep some more, okay?”, you asked, moving closer in to him as your fingers still massaged his scalp soothingly and your lips pressed a small kiss on his forehead before you rested your head against his. You could feel him nodding slightly before he moved a bit in to lean his head closer against you and you finally heard the familiar content growls rumbling quietly through his chest. Still a little tensed and hoping that he would fall asleep before the meds would let the next shock shake through him you cuddled closer, nuzzled your nose into his dark curls and didn’t stop to caress him until you were sure that he was swinging in a deep sleep.
The next days got better, Siddiq began to use milder meds as the strong ones that had put you both through a roller coaster of emotions had at least done their job. And with that, the mood swings began to get better as well, he began to be less dazzled and dozy and the tension and concern that had been stuck in your body had been taken by the relief about his growing well being.
The sun was standing high at the sky when you were rummaging through the drawers of the infirmary’s cabinets, collecting and sorting out things Siddiq needed which had become somehow part of your job since you were spending most of the time in this house and needed something to fill your time with. Next to that, Siddiq taught you here and there a few small things and it felt good to be a help, no matter how small it was and somehow it at least gave you the feeling that you might be able to become part of this all again.
You were just done with getting some salves and bandages ready for Siddiq when you strolled back into Negan’s patient room, catching him glancing at you with still sleepy eyes before he tried to shift himself a little up into the pillows to get a better look at you.
“Talked a lot while I had that shit runnin’ through my veins, huh?”, he suddenly mumbled as you were on your way around this bet as you got slower, not sure by the sound of his voice of what would follow this question. “Hmm”, you just mumbled back, nodding slightly before you threw a pillow on the wooden chair next to his bed. “Still meant a lot of the crap I said”, he continued, capturing your glance as you let yourself fall on the stool while your eyes wandered over his face as he clenched his jaw slightly. “And I don’t only mean the fucking stuff”, he said, a chuckle falling from his lips that should obviously serve as a way to loose himself up before you could see him tensing slightly as he glanced for a small moment away from you. “Now I’m not as well with this sappy stuff as I am when I got some damn meds fucking with me but that shit with you being my second chance-”, he began, gulping as his eyes caught yours again, “I meant that too.” You gave him a smile, seeing how he visibly began to loose up. “I meant what I said too…all of it”, you mumbled, leaning against he bed as you looked at him,”That wasn’t only to soothe you.” Negan’s lips began to curl up as the tension seemed to wash completely out of his body and his large hand reached out to yours to fumble on his tiny bracelet for you that was still dangling around your wrist. Slowly, Negan’s tongue slid over his lower lip, before a grin began to grow on his lips as he looked with a wolfish but still roguish and playfully teasing glance up at you. “By the way, you look hot as fuck today”, he grinned, taking up that one part of what you had told him, as you began to chuckle and playfully shoved his chest. “Seriously!”, he called out, throatily chuckling as he bit his lip and smirked at you. “That fucking hot that I could cum on fucking command in these damn sweatpants”, he chuckled, winking at you as he grinned wider. “Sure”, you chuckled, leaning in to peck his lips before you felt his throaty chuckle letting his lips vibrate against yours. “Wanna give it a try?”
• Him being a big tease who really takes joy in edging you or making beg for him just to see how far he can get you until you lose control as the very only thing you can think of anymore is him
• Him knowing way too well what kind of a effect his voice can have on you, only to use it shamelessly to purr the dirtiest things that come into his mind into your ear or even taking it that far that he uses simply his voice to make you cum for him
• Him loving to have hard and rough sex for you, all while enjoying to grip your hips or thighs harshly as he pounds into you, to bury your body beneath his own while he takes you harder or to make you bend over just to eventually grab a handful of your hair to pull you back on his dick
• Next to that him really enjoying whenever he sees his handprint on your ass after spanking you or even the sight whenever you let him wrap his hand around your neck and let him choke you
• After all, him still taking a whole lot of care of you during those rough sessions and finding himself telling you those three little words in between to assure you that he really does love you when he’s got the feeling that he might go a little too hard on you
• Him for sure having a thing for hearing his name leaving your lips no matter if it’s soft and breathy or if you’re screaming it out, only to enjoys it just as much to make you call him Daddy or even Sir, especially when he’s in the mood to punish you in the best way possible
• And as much as he loves having rough sex, he can’t deny that he loves the slow and affectionate sex with you just as much. It’s when his thrusts are slow but long and drawn out to make you feel every inch of him, he gets to hold you tightly against him and feels every bit of your body melting beneath his touch and it’s when his lips pamper your skin with soft kisses and he can clearly feel the affection and love between the both of you
• Him loving to wake you up in the morning by going down on you and feeling you squirm and hear you softly moan when he slowly gets you out of the grasp of the sleep just to eventually sweeten the beginning of the day with some morning sex
• Him really knowing how to properly use the bathroom for sex as well, no matter if he’s letting you ride him in the bathtub, pounds you into the tiles of the shower’s wall or even uses the shower to spend some intimate moments with you after sex as you both sensually wash each other or simply cuddle beneath the pouring water
• Steamy quickies during the day if he feels like he hadn’t enough time with you for that, as for example in the meeting room on the large table or against the wall while at some times he wants to hear you scream his name out and let his men hear what he’s doing to you in these moments, while on other times you find him cupping your mouth with his large hand to muffle your moans just to tease you about how ‘embarrassing’ it would be for someone to catch the both of you
• Especially after some harder days or after waking up from a good ol’ nap together, sometimes things turn into some slow and lazy sex where it’s all about the both of you just feeling the closeness and intimacy of one another
• His hands and his fingers just like his lips and tongue feeling like a gift straight from heaven whenever he goes down on you and massages, sucks and rubs your core just for him to have even more fun as he sees your reaction as soon as he pushes his fingers inside of you
• Talking of his hands, they’re basically being all over you from the very first moment on, no matter if his hands are just slowly roaming over your body, feel every little bit of you up or grip your ass or hips to push himself deeper into you
• Him loving to watch you cum, which mostly leads to him telling you to look at him whenever he feels you coming close or even taking it as far as fucking you in front of a mirror and letting you watch how you come closer with each thrust
• When he feels like it him also taking a whole lot of joy in letting you slap and choke him or even in letting you tie him up or blindfold him whenever he lets you take control and lets you dominate him
• Him leaving all kinds of marks on your body as for example hickeys and love bites after kissing and nibbling on your neck or on the sensitive skin of your inner thighs all while he’s especially leaving many of them whenever something made him jealous and he’s got the urge to show the fucker who came too close to you that you’re his and only his
• Him loving to let you feel how hard he is for you before things get hot and heavy, as he’s for example guiding your hand to cup his growing bulge or pushes your hips closer against his own whenever you straddle his lap
• Him loving to have car sex when you’re on a run together and really enjoying it no matter how much you both have to take care that you don’t bump your head into the roof of the car or have to entangle even more with each other because of the pokiness of the car
• His colorful language being also pretty present whenever you have sex, regardless of if its him letting out a wild mixed bunch of curse words at once or even makes remarks that manage to make you laugh uncontrollably
• Him loving to feel how your lips wrap around his dick and the way your tongue swirls around his flesh, all while he sometimes just lays back and enjoys the view as he’s just letting you indulge him or he takes some action at other times and pounds relentlessly into your mouth as he’s gripping your hair tightly
• Him really not having any timidity when it comes to experimenting with you and actually surprising and maybe even shocking you with some stuff he has found in a sex shop on a run and took everything with him he’d love to use on you
• Him having a special thing for letting you wear something of his or using it on you. No matter if that means to blindfold or tie you up with his red scarf, letting you wear nothing but his leather jacket as he’s taking you or even just seeing you slip into one of his shirts afterwards
• Next to the slow and affectionate sex there’s also the times when the both of you have some romantic sex as for example after he takes the time and cooks a dinner with your favorite meals for you just to show you how much you mean to him
• Him being not too choosy when it comes to where he cums, simply because he loves it anywhere in or on you. No matter if he’s burying himself deeply inside of you to cum just as deeply in your heat, if he’s seeing you swallow all of him, if he’s seeing his cum dripping down your ass over the marks his hands have left on your skin or sees it dripping down your stomach, him always having this moment where he thinks that just this feeling or view is getting him hard right again
• It doesn’t always have to be either rough and hard or slow and loving, there are also times when you’re just having you’re fun as you’re having sex while you even find yourselves laughing and even giggling between deep kisses as you’re both just relaxed and lighthearted and enjoy every moment with one another
• After sex, him taking you into his arms to hold you tightly and cradle you against his chest as he’s placing some kisses on your hair and skin and is already making some of his jokes again or even murmuring some loving words into your ear as he’s especially focusing his attention on after care when he was rough with you
(I’ll put a warning on this, simply because serious illnesses are some pretty sensitive content and I don’t wanna offend or unsettle anyone)
“Come here, Baby”, you heard Negan’s husky voice rumble as he stretched his arms slightly out, just enough for you to let your body fall into his embrace. A content growl left his lips as soon as you cuddled against his warm chest, your eyes closing within the moment you felt his warmth and scent enclosing you. Carefully, he began to tuck you in along with him beneath the dark blanket as his warm lips pressed a soft kiss on your forehead, letting a comfortable warmth settle in your body. “You know what? I could stay like this for fucking ever. I’d just need someone to hand me some whisky and sandwiches here and there and I’d be just fine”, he quietly chuckled as your lips formed into a smile against the fabric of his white shirt. “Oh and my dick buried inside your pussy or down your throat from time to time would be some fine shit too”, he added with another chuckle as you slightly shoved his chest with a small laugh. “What? You can’t tell me that wouldn’t be awesome”, he mumbled with a big grin that was clearly audible through his words. You opened your eyes again, grinning slightly as your glance met his warm hazel eyes just before you leaned in to kiss him slowly, your fingers entangling with the dark curls on the nape of his neck. “Yeah, that would be great”, you mumbled quietly against his skin, his scruff slightly tickling you as his lips curled into a smile against yours just before you heard his deep voice rising again. ”Now I feel cheesy as fuck for saying that but maybe, maybe these happy fucking endings are still possible.”
Not for the both of you.
You could still hear Carson’s words ringing through your head over and over again, telling you that this knob you had discovered by pure chance was worse than just a swelling. Way worse.
Tears began to burn in your eyes as you shifted on the leather couch, pulling your legs closely against your chest as the lump in your throat grew thicker. You had never kept secrets from each other and you couldn’t keep this secret you had been carrying with you for a small while now hidden forever. He was noticing your changed behavior, the rare becoming kisses and touches of yours, the way you tried to avoid him and your slowly running out excuses whenever he asked you if something was wrong Nothing of this was fair. Nothing. You felt terrible for lying to him, for treating him that way but anytime you felt him coming close, anytime you felt him kissing you, anytime you felt him letting his hands run over your body or saw him looking with an affection filled glance at you it got clear to you how much you’d have to hurt him. You were aware of that you would fight as long as you could, but you were also aware of that your chances to survive such thing in an apocalypse were vanishingly low and you couldn’t put him through this again. You couldn’t put him through the torture of slowly losing a loved one again. You had seen him in nights with horrible nightmares, the nights where he had heavily panting and with widened eyes ripped you out of your sleep to make sure that you were okay and no one had taken you from him like the cancer had taken Lucille. In these nights, where tears ran over his rough cheeks, this big, strong man laid trembling in your arms, holding you as tightly as he could while his face was buried into the curve of your neck, his salty tears and his unsteady breath hitting your skin as your fingers ran through his dark hair, softly massaging his scalp and caressing the back of his neck until he fell asleep again. But what now? What would happen to him if the same thing would repeat itself and you were gone as well?
With a tight breath you stared at the coffee table just as the sound of the opening door let you flinch up. Negan’s eyes immediately roamed over you, a certain tension lingering in his body as he walked closer, leaning Lucille against the couch before he leaned in to kiss you, almost testing, as if he wanted to check if you were letting him. Slowly, you began to feel his hot breath on your skin as his his lips came closer, just until the moment the pain in your body was taking control again and letting your face shift slightly away. An uneasy breath left Negan’s lips as he backed off, his eyes staring down at you as his glance seemed to gore through your body. “Could you tell me what the fuck is going on?”, he asked with an uneasy undertone as you slowly looked up at him, seeing how his jaw clenched tightly as a rush of panic shot through your veins. “(Y/N)? Would you fucking tell me now what the hell is wrong?”, he asked again through gritted teeth while a desperate sound swung within his voice as you didn’t answer while your mind formed into a mass of pure terror and the fear about what was to come. “We haven’t fucked in god knows how fucking long, you don’t even let me fucking touch nor kiss you for fuck’s sake-”, he continued before he gulping stopped, his glance darkening even more as he pinched the bridge of his nose, a dangerous rumble wandering through his chest before he glared at you again. “Is it someone else? Some goddamn fucker I know?”, he growled angrily, his eyes dangerously narrowed while yours widened as you stared shocked at him. “What?! No, I-”, you stumbled, as you felt how your body began to tremble more with every passing second. “Then tell me”, he loudly snapped, his jaw clenching again as you desperately searched for words, your breath quickening as his glance stayed stuck on you. “Fine”, he hissed, grabbing Lucille as he began to angrily stump towards the door, just as you jumped up from the couch. “Wait, I…”, you began, seeing him stopping and turning around as the lump in your throat grew thicker, the tears were back in your eyes as you stared into his. “Negan,…I’m sick”, you began gulping, before you raised your unsteady voice again. “I-I might have cancer…”, you said trembling, tears beginning to roll down your cheeks as his face went chalk-white within a second as Lucille fell out of his hands and met the ground with a loud thud. “What?”, he almost inaudibly asked, his now bleary eyes still staring into yours as the shock and panic in him began to take over. “I went to Carson because I found a knob and he…”, you began again, whimpers beginning to leave your lips as Negan’s chest went trembling up and down. “You’ll be fine”, he mumbled, directly switching into the denial as he looked shivering at you. “Negan, I-”, you began just before he cut you quickly of, painfully knowing what you were about to say. “You’ll be fine”, he urged louder, still trembling as he walked closer. “I-I’ll get anything you need, any fucking thing Carson needs to treat that shit or-”, he said, stopping as the lump in his throat grew too big while the tension in his body visibly grew. Gulping you looked at him, fearing that his possibly false hopes would hurt him even more as you raised your voice. “That’s not possi-” “It is!”, he called loudly out, his glance stern for a moment, not allowing any doubt to conquer him before his eyes got soft again. “I won’t let you d-”, he began more quiet, the tremble back in his voice as he ran a just as strongly trembling hand over his face. “I won’t let anything happen to you”, he mumbled, gulping as he tried to keep the tears in his eyes from falling down his cheeks.
Slowly his hand reached up to cup the back of your neck, pulling you closer until he could lean his forehead carefully against yours as he closed his eyes while more trembling breaths left his lips. Feeling how more small tears escaped your eyes your glance wandered over his sorrowful face just as your weak voice rose again. “I didn’t tell you because…I just-…you don’t deserve to go through that again…”, you whimpered right before he backed slowly away, his eyes looking almost in pain filled disbelief at you. “Baby, this isn’t about me and it fucking shouldn’t, not in any goddamn way”, he said gulping, his chest rising unsteadily before he sighed deeply, his brows puckering in a sad manner as a first tear rolled over his cheek. “I-I don’t want you to be strong for me now, fuck...I’m gonna be fucking strong for you and you’ll take all of your goddamn strength into beating the shit out of this crap”, he said, his voice still shivering slightly as he stared at you before pulling you closer, his still trembling fingers lacing around your jaw as he lifted it to make you look straight into his clouded eyes. “Please,…promise me”, he asked, gulping uneasily while his eyes filled up with more tears as you nodded slowly, trying to let the small ounce of hope you had left flare up. Slowly, he pulled you deeply into his embrace, his hand running through your hair as he let your face bury into the crook of his neck. “I love you. I-I love you so fucking much”, he mumbled as you felt a few of his tears wetting your skin while he pulled you that close against his trembling body as if his tight hold could stop the illness from taking you away. “I love you too”, you mumbled back, feeling how new tears began to roll over your cheeks as you hugged him tightly back, as you knew that you would fight this fight for him. Even if this fight might already be a lost fight.
Request: Can you do an imagine about being Rick’s daughter and getting caught having Sex with Negan please?
Tapping your fingertips tensed onto the counter you stared outside the window, waiting for his tall figure to finally appear along the wall as you hoped that no one else would see him sneaking in this night into the house that was empty except for you. Your father Rick was on a run with others and most certainly not coming back till tomorrow evening, your brother had taken your younger sister with him over to Enid’s place and with that you finally had the house for yourself for the very first time while Negan was in town. And that really was something special for both of you. Any other time you could be uninterrupted with him you had to pretend to be on a run, only to meet him in an abandoned house in the woods in order to keep the relationship you had build up with him over months secret. Till this night, this abandoned house had given you the possibility to do everything with him you couldn’t do in Alexandria. And that didn’t just mean sex, things that seemed so simple and innocent like kissing him as long as you wanted to or even just napping together were only possible there. Inside these walls, a kiss or even just a fast peck was normally the furthest you could go with him and even that was sometimes almost too much. And still, you wanted him to come over this night. Something in you just wanted to use this opportunity that probably wouldn’t come back anytime soon. Just having him in your very own bed, spend all night with him there or maybe even all over the empty house, who knew. That was Negan after all. And besides that, being able to have his way with you inside Alexandria, inside this very house had let something flare up in his eyes that had clearly revealed to you how much it was actually turning him on.
Finally you saw his tall figure casting a shadow along the wall, his eyes already darting with a smirk at you as he caught you watching him through the window. With fast steps he walked up to the backdoor just as you grabbed its handle to quickly let him in. Just as you heard one of his boots hitting the wooden floor his hands reached out to your waist, pulling you flat against him as his lips met yours longingly. Feeling how a bit of the tension washed out of your body you kissed him back, your hands finding their way to his chest as some deep rumbles sounded through his chest until your lips let go of each other. ”You sure no one saw you?”, you quietly mumbled as Negan let out a chuckling sigh. ”Yes, damn sure and if not, hell, we’re gonna have some audience…I wouldn’t mind”, Negan said with a grin as he raised his brows suggestively while a small huff left your lips. ”But I would”, you said back, your glance darkening slightly as it wandered past him outside, checking once again. ”Last time we fucked in that lonely house you didn’t mind the dead fuckers outside too”, you heard Negan’s voice chuckle as your glance snapped back to him. ”Yeah, but this time there are no walkers outside, that’s my family…if someone catches us we’re screwed. It was already damn close when you kissed me this morning”, you said, a tensed tone swinging clearly in your voice. “Yep Sweetheart, but they haven’t caught us and they’re not gonna catch us now either”, he responded, pulling you closer again as you let out a sigh that was filled with the stress you really didn’t want to have to feel when you had the chance to spend time with him. ”Or is it something else?”, you suddenly heard him ask, his glance and voice turning more serious while the grin vanished from his lips as he raised his brows slightly. ”No, it’s not, I want this”, you said as you looked at him, trying to show him that those words were genuine. The very last thing you needed know was that he thought that he was the one making you feel uncomfortable. ”I want you”, you added, as you finally saw the small grin coming back to his lips before the wolfish glance filled his eyes back up at the sound of these words. Biting his lip, he nodded, pulling you even closer before he leaned in to capture your lips with a lust-filled growl that rumbled deeply through his chest. Almost feeling like your knees were about to turn weak you melted into the kiss, trying to let the thoughts that had bothered you vanish. Your hands were still placed on his chest, your fingertips running over the fabric of his shirt before his lips slowly let go of yours just as he took one of your hands to lead them down until it cupped the large growing bulge beneath his pants. ”Feel that? What you’re fucking doing to me?”, he purred against your lips, keeping his hand on yours for another moment as you felt the heat already rising in you before you heard his husky voice again. “So now get in the bedroom so I can fuck those shitty thoughts out of your mind.”
Feeling his hands all over your body you found yourself shutting the bedroom door behind yourself as Negan pulled you closer against his body, helping you to slip out of your shirt as your hands slid first his leather jacket, then his white shirt off his body. Running your hands over his chest and his dark chest hair you felt him getting rid of your bra with ease, just as a deep lusting growl traveled up his throat. “Fuck, you got no damn idea how hard it is to see you all damn day without being able to fuck you against the nearest wall”, he growled, his tongue sliding over his lower lip as his eyes and hands wandered over your body, leading you closer to the bed. “After tonight, you won’t be able to walk for fucking days. That’s a damn promise”, he growled, letting the heat that was stuck in your body middle grow as your back finally hit the mattress before Negan shifted with a big wolfish smirk on top of you. “Already think of another excuse than that I fucked orgasms into you all night…I don’t think that one would work too good on your Dad”, he grumbled against your skin as his lips began to tease over your jaw, his touch distracting you from his remark before he began to kiss down your neck, suck and nibble slightly on the delicate skin as his hands ran hungrily over your body while deep growls rumbled through his chest. Feeling how your arousal began to build up more with every second, Negan’s lips traveled down your body, from your neck to your collarbones, to your breast and down your stomach until you felt him biting the sensitive skin above your hipbones teasingly as a gasp left your lips. “Fuck Negan, that’s gonna leave a mark”, you mumbled as you saw him looking with a grin up at you. “Good”, he muttered against your skin as his lips met it again. “I actually fucking hope so”, he added, kissing the sensitive flesh as his fingers wandered to the hem of your pants. You rose your hips a bit to help him as he slipped the fabric off your legs while his glance already wandered to your panties. His large hand traveled over your leg as his tongue wetted his lower lip slightly until you felt his thumb brushing over the fabric that was still covering your growing arousal while small whimpers left your lips. “Fuck, I can feel through your goddamn panties how fucking wet you are for me”, he huskily said, a small growl leaving his throat. “Take them off”, you said in a breathy but pleading and urging tone while the wolfish smirk on his lips grew wider. “No, I’m not fucking done yet”, he muttered smirking, letting his thumb circle over your clothed core as the slight pressure he added began to drive you crazy. “Negan please”, you mumbled as his smirk grew wider while he raised his brows. “What was that? I think you gotta speak up I can’t hear you” he said, biting his lip before he leaned with a grin down, let his strong hands enclose the sides of your hips just as you felt his lips and tongue beginning to torturously slow suck and lick your pulsing clit through the fabric. “Please take them off”, you mumbled as your hands gripped the sheets just as Negan let his tongue flick against the wet and soft material. “One more time”, he growled against your heat as you felt the teasing of his smirking lips continue while a desperate and unpleased huff left your lips. “Goddamn it Negan, please”, you mumbled in a tone that was more begging than you realized just as you heard his throaty chuckle. “Now that’s what I wanna fucking hear” he said lowly, this tongue sliding over his lips as he began to slowly peel the wet panties off your skin.
Finally feeling the fabric leaving your skin completely you reached out to his belt, eager to finally feel him. “Oh wow, now look at that. My fucking greedy girl”, he chuckled huskily as you began to unbuckle his belt, unzip his pants until you could push them down. And just as Negan let them slide off his legs your eyes caught the large tent in his boxers. “Go for it, Baby. It’s all yours”, he lowly growled, his words only letting your arousal increase as his glance gored hungrily through you until your fingertips dug in between the waistband and his skin before you pushed the fabric down, letting his throbbing erection spring free. “Fucking only for you”, he growled before he leaned down to capture your lips roughly as he guided himself towards your core, dragging the head of his dick teasingly along your wetness while more gasps and whimpers escaped your lips. “Please…”, you mumbled against his lips, feeling your heat begging and longing for him.
Letting out a deep groan you finally felt him pushing himself inch by inch inside your core that just waited for its release as a wave of pleasure washed over you. “Oh fuck…” you moaned as you felt him filling you up, his weight pressing in on you as your fingertips dug into his heated skin. Your legs wrapped around his hips as they were beginning to snap against yours, letting his thick length roll deeper into you with every single thrust. Loud cries in pleasure and breathy moans left your lips while his muffled and deep growls sounded through the room as his hot breath hit your neck. “Mine”, he growled into your ear as you felt his large hands gripping your hips to push them even harder against his own. “Fuck, you’re mine” his deep voice groaned before a gasp left your lips as he bit down your shoulder, leaving his mark as he pounded harder into you. Arching your back beneath him you felt his back muscles rolling beneath your palms before one of his hands reached down until you felt his thumb back on your pulsing clit. With every time his throbbing length pounded you deeper into the mattress, you felt his thumb adding more pressure to the circles it was massaging into your sensitive flesh as the pleasure he brought you got almost unbearable. With every passing second he made you swing more in ecstasy, your fingertips digging deeply into his skin as you longed more for him. “Harder…”, you exhaled, one of your hands beginning to wander into his dark hair as his hand left your pulsing flesh to grab the edge of the headboard with that much strength that his knuckles turned white as it allowed him to push himself deeper and harder inside your sopping heat. “Oh fuck…Negan”, you cried out, feeling how his throbbing cock pounded into you before his lips captured yours again, swallowing your moans as his other hand cupped the side of your neck firmly and your mind began to get hazy, not able to think clearly anymore.
“(Y/N), I’m hom-”, sounded suddenly muffled through your hazy mind as those words began to rip you out of your trance, first slowly, then with all their force as you realized whose voice that was. Feeling a rush of panic shooting through your veins you pushed Negan off your body just as your glance met the shock-filled eyes of your father. Covering yourself up, the embarrassment, shock and panic began to fill you up, letting your body switch between boiling hot and ice cold as your father’s shocked glance turned into a hatred filled glare as it hit Negan. “Hey, Rick”, was the first thing your heard coming still breathlessly out of Negan’s lips with a slight provocative tone as your father’s fists clenched just as tightly as his jaw. “Get out”, your father’s voice brought out, the tone and the glare revealing the anger in him that was shortly before taking over, the shock that was still stuck in him the only thing holding it back from exploding, “Me?”, Negan asked with the same provocative undertone from before as he pointed at himself, just before he raised his voice again, “No.” You could see your father’s breath growing even quicker as the shock, anger, disgust and bewilderment in him fought for the upper hand in his mind. “D-dad?”, you quietly stumbled, completely overwhelmed with the situation as your father’s glance darted back at you, looking at you as if you weren’t his daughter but someone he didn’t know, someone he didn’t even want to know. Staring unbelieving at you, he took a few steps back until he turned around and began to walk away, too filled up with emotions to do anything, too overwhelmed to attempt to kill Negan even though you were sure that this was the one thing he wanted to do right now. “Fuck, fuck”, you breathed out as you began to realize what had just happened, that just moments ago the scenario you had been scared of had actually become the horrible reality. Jumping up from the bed you pushed the sheets off your body, stumbling towards the bathrobes that hung on the back of the door as you began to panic, scenarios about the aftermath of this all already playing in your head which were just drowned out by the mass of emotions that were prattling down on you. “Fuck Baby, come on, look at me”, you heard Negan say as you heard his heavy footsteps stopping right behind you just as you pulled one of the bathrobes hastily over your body. Feeling how Negan’s fingers laced around your jaw your glance finally met his eyes that were staring right at you, seeing the pure panic that was painted all over your face. “Shit’s gonna be fucking fine”, he said, mostly to calm you down and get you out of the horrible trance you were swaying in. “No, nothing’s fine”, you mumbled with a harsh gulp as you realized that you had to go after your father, even though you had no idea how to explain to him that he hadn’t only caught you red-handed with his enemy, but that you had a whole relationship with him that had built up behind his back.
“Dad?”, your trembling voice called out as you stormed down the stairs, still hearing his footsteps sound through the house just like Negan’s that followed you and began to outpace you. “Dad please”, you called out as the lump that was already stuck in your throat began to grow before you finally saw him turning around, but instead of walking towards you, he walked towards Negan who now stood in a bathrobe right next to you. “You don’t touch my daughter”, he loudly growled, closing the distance between them as he glared furiously at him just as a small grin began to form on Negan’s lips. “Well, I did, a whole fucking lot…and you know what, Rick? She fucking liked it”, he said with the strange calmness he had in those situations that could drive others crazy. And it was certainly driving your father crazy, just like the words that slipped out of Negan’s grinning lips. His hands balled into fists, the anger in his body visibly rose and you knew if you wouldnt say anything now, your father would attempt to punch Negan through the nearest wall. “D-Dad, please”, you just mumbled, not knowing what to say or do else as you saw how your words distracted him slightly from the anger that was about to overflow him. “I think it’d be better if you’d go now”, he growled with the last bit of self-control that was left in his body at Negan who still stood there with a slight smirk on his lips. “Guess what Rick, I don’t even fucking think about it”, Negan said, his eyes goring through your father as he leaned a bit back just as you saw the anger filling up your fathers glance once again. “You lurked her into this, you-”, he called out, just to be stopped by a Negan whose smirk now vanished as he turned utterly serious, a disgusted glance mixing into his eyes. “Careful, Rick. It is and fucking was her decision. Your daughter is a goddamn adult if you haven’t caught on yet”, he hissed, leaning closer and towering over your father as he clenched his jaw dangerously. The glare in your father’s eyes intensified as his hands balled into fists again, a hard gulp going down his throat before he finally looked with a scoff over at you, his glance goring through you as the anger and disappointment in it hit you. “What did you think?!”, he asked, still bewildered while you couldn’t say anything, you couldn’t get anything out. “What the hell did you think?!”, he called out with more desperate aggression as burning tears welled up in your eyes. “Hey! You do not yell at her”, Negan’s growling and dangerously calm voice interrupted him, and while it silenced him for a few awful moments it didn’t change the way your father was looking at you and the pain it was forming in your whole body. “Since when?”, he asked, gulping hard while you let out a trembling sigh, still not knowing what to exactly respond without making this entire situation even worse than it already was. “(Y/N), since when?!”, he asked again, rising his voice as you tried to force words out of your mouth. “I-I don’t know it just…it just developed”, you mumbled the truth, feeling your whole body shiver as your father stared unbelievingly at you. “It just developed?! It just developed that you’re in bed with this-”, he called out only to be interrupted by Negan once again. “Thin ice, Rick. Thin fucking ice”, you heard him growl, his hand finding its way to the small of your back in order to calm you down and actually not to provoke Rick even more. But anyway, he did. He did and with that your father just kept staring at you, pain, anger, disgust and disappointment in his eyes as he shook his head at you. “How could you? What…what kind of person did I raise?”, he asked staring at you before his fingers pinched the bridge of his nose, his head shaking again before his glare hit you one last time as he turned around and began to walk away. “Dad?”, you asked, your voice breaking at the end as you followed him with weak steps while you head Negan’s heavy ones behind you. “Dad stop, please”, you said as he kept walking right before he grabbed the handle of the front door, slipped out and shut it with a loud thud that let you flinch harshly up. Feeling how the tears began to roll over your cheeks you stumbled to the couch, hearing Negan following you as you let your trembling body fall and buried your head in your hands as soon as you sat down. “Shit…”, you mumbled into your skin, feeling how the first sobs traveled up your throat while the couch bended slightly as Negan let himself fall next to you. “They’ll hate me”, you quietly whimpered, realizing that it was just a matter of time till not only your father’d knew but also your brother, Michonne and simply anyone else you called family. “Bullshit, no one’s gonna hate you”, Negan said, his arm wrapping tightly around your waist as he pulled you closer against him. “My own father already does”, you said, another whimper erupting your chest as the tears ran down your face while you looked the first time up at him. “No, he doesn’t. He’d just like to ram the stick he’s got up his ass through my damn throat”, Negan said, stroking over his beard stubble as a low, humorless chuckle left his lips. “Great”, you scoffed, tears still falling down your cheeks as small whimpers escaped your lips while your whole body shivered as your head dropped again. A deep sigh left Negan’s mouth as he grabbed your legs to swing them over his, bringing you that close that you were almost sitting in his lap. “Alright listen, It’s our business, not fucking theirs. That’s a thing between you and me and not any other fucker”, he muttered, seeing how hard this whole situation hit you. “It’s not only that. It’s that it’s you and what you did. Remember?”, you asked, a huff leaving your lips as the tears kept welling up. “I do remember, crystal fucking clear and I most certainly remember the damn hard time you gave me for that”, Negan said calmly, trying to bring some of that calmness into your body before you bit your lip as your glance left his once again. For a short moment it got quiet between the both of you, the emotions you got put through creating a muddled mess as you felt Negan tensing and gulping hardly just before he raised his voice. “Don’t dare to think I’m fucking giving up what we have only because they know. Not gonna happen”, he tensely said, clenching his jaw uneasily as you looked back up at him, meeting his glance that wandered filled with that certain concern over your face. “I’m not…I’m not giving it up either I just-”, you mumbled as your voice broke once again, seeing your father’s glance in front of your inner eye and hearing his words echoing through your head over and over again. With another deep sigh Negan pulled you closer into his warmth again, his body now less tensed again as your head fell into the curve of his neck.
And while Negan’s arms wrapped tighter around you, your bleary eyes caught how the lights in one of the houses across the streets switched on, casting shadows of too familiar persons onto the walls inside as you realized that everything that had happened after your father had opened the bedroom door had just been an awful foretaste of what was to come.
• Whenever he notices that you’ve fallen asleep on him, him having to smile and even grin slightly as he’s wrapping his arms around you and realizes how comfortable and protected you have to feel with him to be able to fall asleep
• Whenever you’re falling asleep on him as you’re driving home from a long run, him trying to pull you carefully into his lap and hold you tight to make sure that the jerks of the car don’t wake you up until you’re back at Alexandria
• Him having to smile especially wide whenever Judith is cuddled up to you as you’re leaning asleep against him while he’s just happy to see the both of you that peaceful
• Him having to chuckle about the way you grumble and shift or even talk in your sleep, only to pull you closer as he’s trying to keep the small laughs and chuckles quiet to not wake you up
• Whenever you fall asleep on him on the couch after an exhausting day, him at first just holding you tightly as he’s throwing a blanket over you to make sure you’re comfortable before eventually carrying you with him up to bed
• Him glaring at anyone who talks or moves too loud around the both of you and threatens to wake up all while he’s trying to make sure with kissing your forehead gently or with letting his fingers run soothingly through your hair that you stay as peacefully asleep as before
• Whenever it’s a little chilly outside, him trying his best to wrap his jacket around you or keep you with his own body warmth comfortable and warm until he carries you inside as it’s getting too cold
• While you’re asleep, him letting you use him as a pillow all the way you want no matter how much you shift as you’re cuddling up to him or as you’re nuzzling your face into the curve of his neck, all while actually completely enjoying to see how cozy you feel with him
• Him calling from the bathroom out for you to come just as he’s letting the bubble bath drip into the water and grows big eyed as he amusedly chuckles and excitedly watches how the foam and the bubbles begin to grow
• Him taking your hand to help you climb into the tub, all while his eyes roam over your body until you sink contently sighing into the foam and the hot water
• As you’re lying towards each other, him smirking wolfish at you before letting his hands wander over your legs all while beginning to massage them only to love to see the way you smile in response to his touch, close your eyes and sink deeper into the water
• Him teasingly messing around with you as well as splashing some water and bubbles at you just to laugh loudly and lewdly comment about your reactions and the way you defend yourself as well as about the white foam that now slowly drips from your body and even face
• Him pulling you over to him until your back presses against his warm and wet chest only to wrap his arms around you, let his lips brush over your in a sheet of water covered skin before nibbling and kissing your neck
• Him letting his hands scoop some hot water and letting it flow over your shoulders, back and arms to let you relax some more just as he’s letting his fingers and hands trace over your skin
• Him simply loving to feel the way your hands run over his skin or through his damp hair, all while he closes his eyes and lets his head fall back as small hums and content growls travel up his chest
• Him teasingly feeling you up, touching you and even tickling you, just to have to throatily laugh as soon as you writhe and squirm in the water under his touch while laughs and giggles escape your lips
• Whenever he already feels himself getting hard in response to the way your naked body is pressed against his in the hot water, him grinding against you and letting his hands at a teasingly slow pace slide between your legs as he makes sure that you know how much he wants you
• Him sometimes just wanting nothing else than spending some peaceful and quiet moments with you in which he rests his head against yours or nuzzles his face into the curve of your neck before closing his eyes and just fully enjoying your closeness as he finally gets to let his guards completely down
• Whenever he notices that you’re tensed up or the work has brought you some aching muscles, him massaging your back and letting his palms and fingers knead the pain out of your body with relish, especially as he hears the small hums and moans that leave your lips
• After you’ve slipped out of the tub, him either watching you with relish as you dry yourself off or even helping you to do so, all while beginning to get some new ideas before he wraps his arms tightly around you and purrs huskily into your ear what he’s going to do to you as soon as you leave the bathroom
• Whenever he notices one of the Saviors taking a liking in you and beginning to hit heavily on you, him being pretty rude and harsh to the one whenever he has to give them new orders or simply randomly meets them in the Sanctuary, making them truly feel the hate he’s building up for them
• Him having his hands even more all over you than usual whenever you’re outside of your room which results in him always having a hand on your waist, small back or even ass or him pulling you on his lap whenever you’re close as he sits down all while making sure that the one can see you both
• Him doing everything in his power as Negan’s righthand-man to give this person tasks on the other side of the Sanctuary, making sure that they don’t cross paths with you
• Him being even rougher with you whenever you’re having sex, leaving all kind of hickeys on your body, especially at spots you can’t hide while enjoying the face of the person as soon as they see his marks on your body
• Him being uncomfortable with going on runs without you, knowing that this person could use the time he’s gone to hit on you again, all while only the imagination of them touching you just in any way like he does drives him crazy
• Him actually having these small moments, especially at night when you’re laying asleep next to him, where he actually feels afraid that he could lose you to this person only for him to crave your touch and warmth some more before pulling you over into his arms
• Whenever he’s with you around the Sanctuary and catches the person somewhere around the both of you, him even going as far as pulling you into the next room but purposely leaving the door open before taking you that hard that you can’t do else than call out his name, all while he’s hoping that the person hears or even sees you both
• Negan beginning to scold him for not paying as much attention to his job anymore as he’s supposed to because he seems to be distracted, only for Negan to be next to pissed off actually kind of amused as he finds out that Simon’s distraction is his jealousy
• As soon as he’s having enough and he reaches a certain point because this person simply won’t stop to try to get your attention, him paying them a visit filled with threats about what he’s going to do to them if they don’t stop, which make sure that this one is afraid to even think about you